Thor Review

Power problems......Chris Hemsworth...Thor

Thor is one of Marvel's not very well know superheros. He is known as the protector of humanity, this movie portrays him (at the beginning anyway) as a greedy, power/war hungry selfish God, who lives under the toe of his ageing father (Anthony Hopkins). They live in Asgard, the (sci-fi looking) 'capital city' of the Nine Worlds (one of which is Earth and our solar system), ruling these worlds and fighting off enemies like the unconvincing Frost Giants. Thor (Home and Away's Hemsworth), is cast off for trying to reignite a war and is hit by Natalie Portman, who recently starred in Black Swan (a very big gap between genre). This film is good but Thor gets a bit too touchy too quickly. With some love, hate, cry moments this hits the high point in blockbuster movies, with it going to number one on the UK film chart. 


4/5

Rio Review

High-fly sky guy........Rio

This must be Anne Hathaway's big comeback because the last thing she was in, was Love & Other Drugs, a dribbly rom-com. This stars Blu, a domesticated blue macaw, when I Wikipedied this, a blue macaw is 'critically endangered.' He and his owner are visited by a vet who takes them on a whirl-wind adventure to Rio De Janeiro, where they attempt to get Blu (Jesse Eisenberg) to mate with Jewel (Anne Hathaway), the only supposed remaining macaw. They get taken prisoner by illegal bird snatchers and they're vicious cockatoo Nigel (Jemaine Clement), from Flight of the Conchords. Apart from several dodgy songs by Will.i.am and Jemaine Clement, this is a good-natured film for the Easter holidays.


3.5/5

Hop Review

Cute but not cuddly......Hop

Like the Easter special of Alvin and The Chipmunks, this adorable seasoned movie is set up with all the usual cliches. The Easter Bunny is always a bunny and the 'Easter Factory' is on Easter Island inside one of the Moai's. Octopus-like Russell Brand stars in this themed-movie based on one bunny about to inherit the Easter Bunny title. So he runs away to Hollywood, where all stars go from rags to riches. 'That lady who wrote Harry Potter, wrote it in a ditch' was one of the unfunny quotes the film sprouts. James Marsden plays your twenty-something slacker, who gets chucked out of his house because he doesn't have a job. Instead of picking a real actor who is 20-ish, they chose Marsden who is 37. Eventually they meet but have to save the day from the evil Bunny, Carlos (voiced by Hank Azaria) who plans to overthrow the Bunny Empire. With one or two funny moments, this film is a bad movie dusted with sugar and spice. 


2.5/5

The Eagle Review

Battle to the north.......Channing Tatum in The Eagle

Based upon Rosemary Sutcliff's 1954 novel The Eagle of The Ninth. It stars Channing Tatum as    Marcus Aquila, who comes to South Britain to put his family's good name in order. After he disappeared into the mists of Northern Britain with the Ninth Legion. He is injured in battle and goes to stay with his uncle (Donald Sutherland) where he spares the life of a slave Esca (Jamie Bell). They decide to travel north of Hadrian's Wall (separating the north and south of Britain) to search for the missing Eagle standard that was lost when Marcus's father and the NInth vanished. It's good storytelling but becomes a bit of a bromance and a Batman and Robin friendship ensues. I would watch it again and it's a solid film that has a strong influence of Ridley Scott's Gladiator. 


4/5

I Am Number Four Review

I Am Number Bore.........Alex Pettyfer and Dianna Agron

Too long, too bright and too bad a movie. I Am Number Four stars Wild Child and Stormbreaker star Alex Pettyfer as a alien child in human form. The resemblance to Twilight is uncanny and the bad guys' look like Eric Bana's Nero in the 2009 Star Trek mixed with Ralph Fiennes' Voldemort. Glee's Dianna Agron is our girlfriend and Timothy Olymphant is our super-powered Dad. This film has soon light touches and is very entertaining. It all gets complicated and a Australian Teresa Palmer enters the spotlight with a motorbike and flashy guns. This film gives you loads of silly bits and the chemistry between Pettyfer and Agron is stupid but not a bad film.


2/5

Gnomeo and Juliet Review

Welcome to the garden, we got the fun and games.....Gnomeo and Juliet

When someone told me that there was a film called Gnomeo and Juliet coming out, "like Romeo and Juliet, but with gnomes." I laughed and thought it was a bad joke but it wasn't. It was what Elton John has been doing for the past ten years except opening a clothes shop and having a baby. He sees a new humorous children's animation as gnomes. Yes, kids get a few laughs when they see the bus adverts, 'pain in the grass' and 'a little adventure goes a lawn way' but this film wastes it's decent jokes on the trailer. Ruining this perfect little kid's flick. Apart from some dire gnome jokes ("holy matrognomey"), ear-splitting Elton John songs and Sir Patrick Stewart playing Shakespeare, it isn't half bad. With a A-list cast, Jason Statham, Maggie Smith, Michael Caine and Julie Walters, it comes out not half bad with the surnames of the humans (Montague and Capulet, those were the surnames in Shakespeares' Romeo and Juliet.) It's an enjoyable kid's film that goes a long way.


3.5/5 

Rango Review

One cool chameleon............Rango

This film has cliches and parodies mixed into one. It takes the mickey out of old Western movies and really makes you want to see one of the old Clint Eastwood movies. It shows domestic chameleon, who at first is unnamed, recreating a scene with a wind up fish, a dead fly, and a headless mannequin. One thing leads to another and the chameleon has reached the town of Dirt. After making a few friends, Beans (Isla Fisher) and enemies, Mayor John (Ned Beatty, who's character is very similar to Lot So Huggin' Bear in Toy Story 3), Rango fits in difficultly into this desert(ed) town. Water supplies have lowered and it's up to Rango and a few desert animals to solve the mystery of the missing water. One highlight of mine, is Timothy Olyphant mocking Clint Eastwood as 'The Spirit of the West'. Good stuff and I would highly recommend it. 


4/5